About Pat Johnson

The New Porker strives to slap our readers with stories straight off the pig's back. We sizzle our stories in grease and serve them hot off the griddle: tasty, salty, and with a hearty crunch. Unlike other online periodicals, The New Porker is not afraid to reach elbow-deep into the bowels of truth. We provide our readers with fatty perspectives, harder to chew than grizzle. But as they say, the longer you chew, the closer you are to the swallow. Email us at: info@thenewporker.com

Check out The New Porker


Hello, Old Friends!

I can’t believe it’s almost been 3 years since I last updated honestbuzzard.com!

Hopefully, in the near future, I’ll have time to upload some new stories and excerpts from the novel I’ve been working on.

But the main reason for this post is there’s a side project I’ve been working on that I think you guys might like. It’s a satirical news website I started called The New Porker. 

Here’s our logo:

The New Porker Logo

We’re currently looking for new humor writers that are interested in collaborating on stories and projects. Or if you have a great headline or idea for a story we’d love to hear it.

Check out our submissions page for more info.

You can also email me at: info@thenewporker.com

Hope to hear from y’all soon!

And I’m looking forward to getting honest buzzard back up and running in the next few weeks!

Beyond Palace Walls

    Drunk, I staggered down a Tijuana alleyway. A moon bent like a finger nail clipping lit my way. I watched a mangy brown puppy eating old tacos from a tipped garbage can as I dragged my tired feet back towards the U.S. border. I had just been drinking, laughing and dancing with friends at one of our favorite bars when that familiar anxiety came over me. I had to leave. I told everyone I was taking a taxi back to the border, but I had something else in mind.

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